I'm Not a Comedian.

A few months ago after my friends' comedy show, I met some nice comedians who didn't know me very well. They suggested I take a free improv class. I was like, "Yeah, that's never going to happen. Like. Ever."

Let me explain. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with improv. Despite what I might have said in the past, I don't think improv is stupid or that all comedians are on the Autism Spectrum lurching around the UCB theater wearing baggy soiled black sweatpants. Some of my best friends are improvisers! Some of them are upstanding members of society even. But improv is something that I have no interest in for the following reasons:

1. I would be very bad at it.
Improv is hard. Most people aren't very good at it.

I am very shy and I have terrible stage fright. I've never been a performer. I've always been creative, but a I-am-going-to-make-things -in-my-bedroom-that-I-may-not-show-another-person-while-listening-to-the-entire-69-Love-Songs type of creative. In design, if I make something ugly or bad, I don't have to show it to anyone. I can trash it and start over. Improvisers don't have that luxury. Once you make it, it's out in the universe even if it sucks.

2. I have very high self-esteem.
Self-explanatory.

3. If I had the time to do improv, I'd be doing these things:

• Learning to brew beer
• painting a picture of a dinosaur (on my list of the goals for a the year)
• the Sketchbook Project
• updating this blog that you are reading right now
• Taking a beginners German class
• Getting through an entire Godspeed album
• Trying to get through the first five pages of ffffffffffound.com
• Figuring out if my printer being electrocuted is covered by its insurance policy
• Cleaning the bathroom
• Watching Jane Eyre with Michael Fassbender as Mr. Rodchester over and over while dramatically fanning myself.
• Updating my portfolio site with better work.
• Figuring out how to use webfonts
• Finding a new cool bar/restaurant/cafe/store/desolate alley way in my neighborhood.
• Washing my sheets/towels (which no one does enough. We are all disgusting).
• Starting my Pretentious Book Club
• Experimenting with watermelon in savory salads.
• Reading anything from this series.
• Flipping through the 15832 back issues of Harpers/Monocle/Wired that are littered around my bedroom.
• Sleeping