Tuesday, May 25, 2010

In summary: I own too many clothes.

I am packing because I am flying out to Portland really early tomorrow morning. I am having a hard time because I hate almost all my shirts. There is just dumb stuff on all of them (pandas, doner kabobs, etc).

panda body, ugly flowers, I am not sure what that is, doner kebab.

It led me to realize that my tastes in clothes is starting to become slightly more conservative (this is relative). I wear black tights now instead of hot pink ones and I've now all, but abandoned my poly-chromatic Aasics, the ones I picked out because they had the most colors, for a pair of black leather Campers.

This could be happening for several reasons. The two most obvious would be:

1) I live in New York City now.

Everyone is sooooooo sophisticated, wearing all black turtlenecks, smoking cigarettes, talking about art. When I lived in Portland, my crazy vintage dresses were not only tolerated. but expected. Once in college, by accident I wore mostly black and several different people asked me if anyone in my family had died.

This is actually completely inaccurate. I live in Williamsburg and I could walk down the street wearing these dresses and a paper bag with a cartoon clown face painted on it and no one would bat an eye. People here look crazy. All mustachioed, wearing green pleated shorts with red bow ties. I saw some dude on the L train the other day wearing wrist warmers bedazzled with crystals. He was totally awesome.

2) I am getting older. GRAY HAIRS! LIVER SPOTS! AARP!

A few months ago my friend Lindsay told me about how she read some article she read about how you really start to feel like an adult around 26. I have no idea if that is a "scientific" fact, but I have an urge to stop acting a fool like I used to. The most obvious area this is showing itself is in the clothes I want to wear. I knew this was happening when I was at a store and I had to decide between two dresses and I chose the more more flattering instead of the more hilarious one.

It is still going to be a while before I start exclusively wearing pants suits from Banana Republic. Here is a pile of garments I might bring with me. If there is room in my suitcase, they are all coming.

All purchased in New York City.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Another Mort Picture Extravaganza

About a month ago, I blogged all the pictures that Mort (my dad) sent me from his Blackberry over the course one day. Everyone seemed to like it, especially Mort, who loves attention. The deal is the same as last time: I will post the pictures as I get them with all his original commentary, "Mortentary," if you will.

Subject: Mort Stangling the Dragon

Subject: How to Practice "An Apple a Day" Stylishly

BONUS! Pictures from yesterday!
Subject: Planned Parenthood Intact

Subject: Planned Parenthood Cracked
1: 44pm

Subject: Geological Survey of Planned Parenthood

Yassi (my sister): is that a cookie? and what does a pyramid of beer cases have to do with planned parenthood.... well i guess there is some correlation.

Subject: RE survey results of Planned Parenthood---da Beet Connextion
2:13 pm
from: Mort

I guess the following happens:
-lots of beer taken from the pyramid pile.
-inebriation and loss of many faculties
-silly laughter and primate-like screams
-unprotected sex mixed with amnesia
-insamination and pregnancy
-"planned parenthood" discussion
-termination of pregnancy
-joining an Evangelically-based "Pro-Life" group
-listening to lots of AM radio
-hating immigrants because they might fuck white women!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Wonderful Things Come in Small Packages

You'd have to be dead inside not to smile when you see a miniature version of something. For some reason or another, for the past year or so my dad and to a less extent my roommate, Catherine, have been giving me miniature things. We have been arranging them on the mantle like some sort of makeshift altar to the lilliputian (one of my dad's favorite words. He uses it several times a day).

A trumpet pin

German-English Dictionaries


Briefcase, closed

Briefcase, opened

Miniature Dogs
Now what perchance could be lounging under that down comforter?

Could it be Coco, the world's greatest chihuahua? She belongs to Catherine, but she hangs out with me all day while I do my exciting design work, like kerning.

Yes! There you are!


I seriously do not know how someone could see Coco and not believe in evolution. Her kind was not in the Garden of Eden. I am sure if they had been, it would have been mentioned in Genesis. It would have gotten it's own chapter and everything.

Tiny Food
Food is also more delicious when it is small. Example: tea sandwiches, mini-bagel dogs, and baby corn.

Croissant from Bakeri. This place is so cute, it is almost overwhelming. They make their own butter and serve tea in bowls. They have the most spherical, rotund, surly baker with dark curly out-of-control mutton chops. It worth the trip just to spend a little while watching him do his thing.

They sell these at Trader Joes.

Chihuahua Scale.