But you know what? I still think that Texas is the best fucking state in all of the United States and Canada. I don't care that Alaska and Ontario are bigger or that California has more people or that Oregon is actually the the most lovely and pleasant place I've ever lived, in my deepest lizard brain I believe Texas is the best.
Here are my reasons:
- Best BBQ
- The shape is the best in the US.
- Every single person in the world has heard of Texas.
- It has lots of money and a fantastic economy and an entrepreneurial spirit without being cut throat.
- It used to be its own country and has so many flags.
- It has the best flag currently! So good, that Chile copied it poorly.
- It is very populous and diverse (and obese, so if you do not agree Texas is the best, we will sit on you until you suffocate).
- When you are in space, you literally address Houston, TX. When you have a problem, you don't say "Pittsburg, we have a problem."
- It has fire ants, which are the most bad-ass ants and water moccasins and alligators who will eat you because they are Texan and bad-ass.
- Tex-Mex is a thing. Have you heard of an American regional cuisine that is this famous? No, you have not.
- You can be deep in the heart of Texas, you can't be deep in the heart of like, Ohio. That would be lame.
- You could wear cowboy boots there everyday and not look crazy. That is the sort of thing I value.
Bonus! Something Embarrassing!
Up until a few months ago, I believed that Texas was the size of the moon. When I mentioned this in a conversation about how Texas is the best state in the United States, my friends pointed out that this made no sense and asked where I got this information. I had and still have no idea. It was just something I believed to be true. Eric tried to find something pertaining to this on the internet and this was the closest thing he could find. He also made this animated gif.
If you are curious, the moon, in terms of surface area, is about the size of Africa. I asked someone who had recently completed her PhD in Geology from Oxford because this is the sort of shit I bring up when I am talking about smart people.