Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Emails I Received from Scott This Week Concerning OkCupid

Scott and I have known each other since we were 14 and have been friends since we were 17. We'll be in each other's lives until the day one of us croaks. If you don't believe me, check out the valentine I made him. We talk everyday and know most of each other's secrets. Scott is one of the only person who shares my exact political views, even as they change.

Scott started pursuing his undergrad degree later than most because he joined the Navy right after high school. So now he is a 28-year-old first semester senior at a very small liberal arts college in a very small town in Vermont (which as native Texans, we think of as being a very small state). He tried dating his fellow students, despite my repeated attempts to convince him that dating someone who was born in the early '90s as someone who was born in the early '80s is sketchy. He has finally realized that he needed to find a nice (age-appropriate) girl to "come home to and make soup with." And that is why he decided to join OkCupid.

For those unacquainted, OkCupid is a free dating site. Most of my peers have been on it at some point with various levels of success. And since it is free and since it is on the internet, it is a cornucopia of colorful characters. Like my friend Chris, who in this video relates a story about the colorful messages he sent some unsuspecting ladies while high off his gourd on steroids:

Let's get back to Scott. One of the topics we discuss the most (and one of my all-time favorite topics) is just how fucking racist everyone is all the time. Especially well-intentioned white people (or anyone from a dominant culture) who don't realize they're being racist, colonialist, or just plain appalling and gross. We feel like we can be experts on the subject since we are both marginally of color. Scott's thesis, to put it very very simply, is about how sad Mexican border towns are. He is especially sensitive to it as someone who is reading Susan Sontag and Michel Foucault for the first time.

So here are the emails I received from Scott this week concerning OkCupid

February 22, 2012

Subject: okcupid.
Time: 8:26am

is it dead?

February 24, 2012

Subject: okc pic of the day
Time: 11:02am

caption: "me with shaman elders from andes".

February 27, 2012

Subject: okc
Time: 11:16am

"About Me:

i greet the sky each day recommitting to the work and the joy of
existing in all the realities

my center piece is sustainability and regeneration on all levels:
environmental, social, economic, emotional, mental, spiritual and

it all boils down to ~~> i pledge allegiance to the trees, and to the
united webs of life, and to all the people who depend on health, joy
and well-being... "

Okay, so this isn't actually racist, but it does involve a young, probably well-educated woman who means well making a complete fool of herself. I can't exactly speak for Scott, but there is something grotesque to me about being this earnest and sincere. Being that sincere is like taking off your pants: only do it in certain contexts where it is appropriate. Don't just do it from the get-go. Basically, if you always sound like you are coming up on shrooms, you might want to reevaluate your life.

Also, using a sedated, wild animal or (soooooo much) worse, a human being (even a shaman in a really bitching outfit) as an accessory is fucked up, even if you didn't intend it to be.

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