Things that People Seem to Enjoy that I Do Not Understand the Appeal of
Video Games
Sports
Burning Man
Camping
Family Guy
Cormac McCarthy
Tempeh
Paul Thomas Anderson
Grizzly Bear
Channing Tatum
Things That I Used To Not Understand the Appeal of and Then I Came Around Later in Life
Dogs and Cats
Yoga
Poetry
Vegetarianism
Clogs
New York City
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
What M Was Doing Instead Of Working
M works for a fancy-ass branding firm and her boss just quit, so you think she'd have more actual work to do. Nope. This is what she's been doing. I don't know what she does on a day-to-day basis (other than talk to me on G-Chat about cute European boys), but I think this is a good use of her time.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Famous Guys Playing Pop Songs With Guitars
John Darnielle Playing Ace of Base
Because he is singing this song with the same style and vigor as, like, this one, you might mistake lyrics like, "Life is demanding without understanding" as deep and meaningful. You might feel the urge to put it on your record player and wallow, staring at the ceiling, teenager style and writing the words over and over on the outside of your pre-calculus notebook.
I love this video for many reasons, one being that he looks like he is going to crack up at any point. He is unpacking the ridiculousness of the song by just stating what the lyrics are. מזל טוב
This is an oldie and I don't know if people care about Ted Leo anymore. You just need at least three things to make a list.
Because he is singing this song with the same style and vigor as, like, this one, you might mistake lyrics like, "Life is demanding without understanding" as deep and meaningful. You might feel the urge to put it on your record player and wallow, staring at the ceiling, teenager style and writing the words over and over on the outside of your pre-calculus notebook.
Jeff Tweedy Playing the Black-eyed Peas
I love this video for many reasons, one being that he looks like he is going to crack up at any point. He is unpacking the ridiculousness of the song by just stating what the lyrics are. מזל טוב
Ted Leo Playing Kelly Clarkson
This is an oldie and I don't know if people care about Ted Leo anymore. You just need at least three things to make a list.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Why Texas Is the Best!
It often surprises new friends and acquaintances to learn that I grew up in Texas. I don't have an accent because I intentionally lost it when I was twelve and my Seattle-based aunt made fun of me for saying "y'all." Despite growing up in Houston the most car heavy place in the entire galaxy, I never got my driver's license because I don't trust myself not to crash into shit and kill myself, or worse, someone else. Now that none of my immediate family lives in Texas anymore, I go down very rarely. I doubt I'll ever live there again and I am okay with that.
But you know what? I still think that Texas is the best fucking state in all of the United States and Canada. I don't care that Alaska and Ontario are bigger or that California has more people or that Oregon is actually the the most lovely and pleasant place I've ever lived, in my deepest lizard brain I believe Texas is the best.
Here are my reasons:
Bonus! Something Embarrassing!
Up until a few months ago, I believed that Texas was the size of the moon. When I mentioned this in a conversation about how Texas is the best state in the United States, my friends pointed out that this made no sense and asked where I got this information. I had and still have no idea. It was just something I believed to be true. Eric tried to find something pertaining to this on the internet and this was the closest thing he could find. He also made this animated gif.
If you are curious, the moon, in terms of surface area, is about the size of Africa. I asked someone who had recently completed her PhD in Geology from Oxford because this is the sort of shit I bring up when I am talking about smart people.
But you know what? I still think that Texas is the best fucking state in all of the United States and Canada. I don't care that Alaska and Ontario are bigger or that California has more people or that Oregon is actually the the most lovely and pleasant place I've ever lived, in my deepest lizard brain I believe Texas is the best.
Here are my reasons:
- Best BBQ
- Armadillos
- The shape is the best in the US.
- Every single person in the world has heard of Texas.
- It has lots of money and a fantastic economy and an entrepreneurial spirit without being cut throat.
- It used to be its own country and has so many flags.
- It has the best flag currently! So good, that Chile copied it poorly.
- It is very populous and diverse (and obese, so if you do not agree Texas is the best, we will sit on you until you suffocate).
- When you are in space, you literally address Houston, TX. When you have a problem, you don't say "Pittsburg, we have a problem."
- It has fire ants, which are the most bad-ass ants and water moccasins and alligators who will eat you because they are Texan and bad-ass.
- Tex-Mex is a thing. Have you heard of an American regional cuisine that is this famous? No, you have not.
- You can be deep in the heart of Texas, you can't be deep in the heart of like, Ohio. That would be lame.
- You could wear cowboy boots there everyday and not look crazy. That is the sort of thing I value.
Bonus! Something Embarrassing!
Up until a few months ago, I believed that Texas was the size of the moon. When I mentioned this in a conversation about how Texas is the best state in the United States, my friends pointed out that this made no sense and asked where I got this information. I had and still have no idea. It was just something I believed to be true. Eric tried to find something pertaining to this on the internet and this was the closest thing he could find. He also made this animated gif.
If you are curious, the moon, in terms of surface area, is about the size of Africa. I asked someone who had recently completed her PhD in Geology from Oxford because this is the sort of shit I bring up when I am talking about smart people.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
EXTREME! EXTREME! EXTREME!
Hurricane Irene is scheduled to hit New York City sometime tomorrow. I have been freaking out about it like the anxious dork that I am. I have a flashlight, radio, extra batteries, two gallons of water, rubber boots, a vintage raincoat with whales on it, a bucket, a box of Cheez-Itz and like 10,000 Kashi granola bars. I should be fine. But it got me thinking about extreme weather and that got me thinking of extreme things.
EXTREME BALLADS!!!
I remember hearing this song as a small child and thinking that their name must be ironic.
EXTREME POODLES!!!
Yes, that poodle is supposed to be a peacock. There are so much more EXTREMELY depressing poodle follicle abuse here.
EXTREME EXISTENTIAL CRISIS DEEP IN THE EXTREMES OF THE AMAZON, THE MOST EXTREME PLACE ON EARTH!!! EXTREME!
I love how EXTREMELY German this man is.
EXTREME WEB DESIGN
This is so horrible that it is almost beautiful. I wonder what their site map looks like.
EXTREME CUTENESS
AWK. LOOKING AT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. In a good way!
MOUNTAIN DEW!!!
Using the qualifier, EXTREME, with Mountain Dew would be EXTREMELY redundant.
EXTREME BALLADS!!!
I remember hearing this song as a small child and thinking that their name must be ironic.
EXTREME POODLES!!!
Yes, that poodle is supposed to be a peacock. There are so much more EXTREMELY depressing poodle follicle abuse here.
EXTREME EXISTENTIAL CRISIS DEEP IN THE EXTREMES OF THE AMAZON, THE MOST EXTREME PLACE ON EARTH!!! EXTREME!
I love how EXTREMELY German this man is.
EXTREME WEB DESIGN
This is so horrible that it is almost beautiful. I wonder what their site map looks like.
EXTREME CUTENESS
AWK. LOOKING AT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. In a good way!
MOUNTAIN DEW!!!
Using the qualifier, EXTREME, with Mountain Dew would be EXTREMELY redundant.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I'm Not a Comedian.
A few months ago after my friends' comedy show, I met some nice comedians who didn't know me very well. They suggested I take a free improv class. I was like, "Yeah, that's never going to happen. Like. Ever."
Let me explain. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with improv. Despite what I might have said in the past, I don't think improv is stupid or that all comedians are on the Autism Spectrum lurching around the UCB theater wearing baggy soiled black sweatpants. Some of my best friends are improvisers! Some of them are upstanding members of society even. But improv is something that I have no interest in for the following reasons:
1. I would be very bad at it.
Improv is hard. Most people aren't very good at it.
I am very shy and I have terrible stage fright. I've never been a performer. I've always been creative, but a I-am-going-to-make-things -in-my-bedroom-that-I-may-not-show-another-person-while-listening-to-the-entire-69-Love-Songs type of creative. In design, if I make something ugly or bad, I don't have to show it to anyone. I can trash it and start over. Improvisers don't have that luxury. Once you make it, it's out in the universe even if it sucks.
2. I have very high self-esteem.
Self-explanatory.
3. If I had the time to do improv, I'd be doing these things:
- Learning to brew beer
- painting a picture of a dinosaur (on my list of the goals for a the year)
- the Sketchbook Project
- updating this blog that you are reading right now
- Taking a beginners German class
- Getting through an entire Godspeed album
- Trying to get through the first five pages of ffffffffffound.com
- Figuring out if my printer being electrocuted is covered by its insurance policy
- Cleaning the bathroom
- Watching Jane Eyre with Michael Fassbender as Mr. Rodchester over and over while dramatically fanning myself.
- Updating my portfolio site with better work.
- Figuring out how to use webfonts
- Finding a new cool bar/restaurant/cafe/store/desolate alley way in my neighborhood.
- Washing my sheets/towels (which no one does enough. We are all disgusting).
- Starting my Pretentious Book Club
- Experimenting with watermelon in savory salads.
- Reading anything from this series.
- Flipping through the 15832 back issues of Harpers/Monocle/Wired that are littered around my bedroom.
- Sleeping
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Miniaturisations
I love miniature things. I think most people do, even fancy people who have solo exhibitions at the Whitney, like Charles LeDray. I was fortunate enough to get to see that show last winter and I freaked the fuck out. I loved it so. If you are unfamiliar, here are some examples:
Overcoat, 2004
The whole thing is only about two feet high. The next images is a shot of his miniature dry-cleaners:
Enough about LeDray. Last year I shared a post with you guys about my personal collection of miniatures. Since then, the collection has expanded significantly. Catherine, my roomie and owner of the miniature dog Coco, commissioned her handy brother to make us a miniature set of shelves to hold my collection. Here is the collection all together:
An Abacus that Fell Off a Key Chain
Saw Letter Opener
Quite a few things from the current collection were actually purchased and given to my father (Mort) by my sister (Yassi) for Christmas last year. He decided that they'd be better off living with me on my self. This is one of those things.
Para Lavar Los Dientes Pequeños
Mort brought back for me and my sister teeny oral hygiene kits from his trip to Mexico this month. They included one small tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush, and a sketchy flossing devise. Each kit cost one peso.
A Tiny Violin
This is the instrument that is played when one complains about something that isn't a big deal in the grander scheme of things.
Compact Grater
I think this is actually for nutmeg. Once I used it with fresh ginger.
Petite Pencils
This was also purchased for Mort. I wonder if you could find a sharpener small enough!
Tiny Tabasco
I bought some friend chicken I didn't actually want to eat just for this bottle.
Wee Shoes
These came from my favorite store in New York City (after B&H), Fabulous Fanny's
If you are interested in seeing more teeny-tiny (or great big) stuff, check out my superfriend, Hanae's tumblr: things of unusual size.
Overcoat, 2004
The whole thing is only about two feet high. The next images is a shot of his miniature dry-cleaners:
Enough about LeDray. Last year I shared a post with you guys about my personal collection of miniatures. Since then, the collection has expanded significantly. Catherine, my roomie and owner of the miniature dog Coco, commissioned her handy brother to make us a miniature set of shelves to hold my collection. Here is the collection all together:
An Abacus that Fell Off a Key Chain
Saw Letter Opener
Quite a few things from the current collection were actually purchased and given to my father (Mort) by my sister (Yassi) for Christmas last year. He decided that they'd be better off living with me on my self. This is one of those things.
Para Lavar Los Dientes Pequeños
Mort brought back for me and my sister teeny oral hygiene kits from his trip to Mexico this month. They included one small tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush, and a sketchy flossing devise. Each kit cost one peso.
A Tiny Violin
This is the instrument that is played when one complains about something that isn't a big deal in the grander scheme of things.
Compact Grater
I think this is actually for nutmeg. Once I used it with fresh ginger.
Petite Pencils
This was also purchased for Mort. I wonder if you could find a sharpener small enough!
Tiny Tabasco
I bought some friend chicken I didn't actually want to eat just for this bottle.
Wee Shoes
These came from my favorite store in New York City (after B&H), Fabulous Fanny's
If you are interested in seeing more teeny-tiny (or great big) stuff, check out my superfriend, Hanae's tumblr: things of unusual size.
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